COURTS ABUSING OUR CHILDREN

Children have been becoming the victims of abuse by not only the parents but as well as our court system as we know it to be today. It shouldn’t be this way for the children; but to often than not the courts are allowing the parents to take their abusive behaviors out not only on one another, but as well as on the children; weather it be physical or emotional!

“Our society is currently giving mothers a powerful and crazy-making mixed message. First, it says to mothers, “If your children’s father is violent or abusive to you or to your children, you should leave him in order to keep your children from being exposed to his behavior.” But then, if the mother does leave, the society many times appears to do an abrupt about-face, and say, Now that you are spilt up from your abusive partner, you must expose your children to him. Only now you must send them alone with him, without you even being around anymore to keep an eye on whether they are okay.” (Child Custody Justice author: Lundy Bancroft retrieved: September 8, 2008)

“What do we want? Do we want mothers to protect their children from abusers, or don’t we?” The sad result of this double-bind is that many mothers who take entirely appropriate steps to protect their children from exposure to abuse are being insulted by court personnel, harshly and unethically criticized and ridiculed in custody evaluations and psychological assessments, and required to send their children into unsupervised contact or even custody with their abusive fathers. And sometimes these rulings are coming in the face of overwhelming evidence that the children have both witnessed abuse and suffered it directly, evidence that would convince any reasonable and unbiased person that the children were in urgent need of protection. Family courts across the US and Canada appear to be guilty day in and day out of reckless endangerment of children.” (Child Custody Justice author: Lundy Bancroft retrieved: September 8, 2008)

Courts should step in and prevent the children from being abused as much as they can; however the courts are not stepping up to the plate and ordering these parents into some kind of parenting classes; or even for that matter, psychological evaluations as well as psychological help.

Instead the courts are not only hindering the fact that the emotional turmoil of a divorce or custody battle does affect the children but they are also helping to keep the situations going to the point that both parents become so desperate enough to go to any lengths they can to achieve their common goals. While this is happening a parent or courts are in the mist of establishing the abusive manner and ethics as well as the morals into the children because of this situation the children are instilled these morals and ethics by watching the arguing and fighting issues among the parents and the courts still turn their heads to the situation that goes unresolved.

 The courts are also behind the fact that they are keeping the issues on a constant battle field between the parents in order to not only make money but as well as it has become a political game for the Judges, Magistrates and Attorney’s.

“It may be hard to believe an abusive partner can ever make good on his threat to take the children away from his victim. After all, he has a history of violent behavior and she almost never does. Unfortunately, a surprising number of battered women lose custody of their children. The actual number is not known and offenders appear to be no more successful in gaining custody than non-offenders (Liss & Stahly, 1993). However, violence against one parent by another is often considered in custody-determination proceedings (Family Violence Project, 1995).” (Child Custody and Visitation Decisions in Domestic Violence Cases: Legal Trends, Research Findings, and Recommendations; author: Daniel G. Saunders; October 1998)

“Statutes now address other concerns related to custody and the recent proliferation of legislation seems likely to continue. Statutes in some states now cover: the prevention of child abduction by the perpetrator through supervised visitation and similar safeguards (Girdner & Hoff, 1996; Hart, 1990), providing a defense against child abduction charges if battered women flee with their children, exempting battered women from mandated mediation (Girdner, 1996), protecting battered women from charges of "child abandonment" if they flee for safety without their children (Cahn, 1991), and allowing parents to check on the criminal charges against a divorce partner (Pennsylvania's Jen & Dave's law). Recent case law makes it easier for battered women to relocate far away from their abusers (Dunford-Jackson, in press).

Unfortunately, courts may apply psychological pressures that keep women tied to their abusers. "Friendly parent" statutes ask courts to assess each parent's willingness to co-parent when making custody decisions (Zorza, 1992). Despite their reasonable reluctance to co-parent, battered women may end up being labeled "uncooperative," with an increased risk of losing their children. Along with legal changes, training and resource manuals for judges and court managers have recently been published, including guidelines for selecting custody evaluators and guardian ad litems (Goelman, Lehrman, Valente, 1996; Lemon, Jaffe, & Ganley, 1995; NCJFCJ, 1995; National Center for State Courts, 1997). (Child Custody and Visitation Decisions in Domestic Violence Cases: Legal Trends, Research Findings, and Recommendations; author: Daniel G. Saunders; October 1998)

Children are the ones that are at steak here with their emotional ties to both parents. Is it not ethically and morally right to continue to put these children through such turmoil in life? From my position on this issue, I must say that it is not the best ideal to allow children to be the focus of such inappropriate behaviors or reality’s.

 Children are not to be treated as pawns in the court system, however it is becoming more likely that they are in order to achieve one’s primary reasons, which is either more money or even political issues. The courts are in fact taking children away from their mothers and handing these children over to their abusive ex’s and the courts are not thinking of what the ramifications are of their actions.

 Once the children are placed with the abusive fathers children start to be alienated from their mothers to the point that eventually the children do not even get to see their mothers anymore. However, to the courts their thinking is that these mothers are just being over protective of their children and or the fathers should have equal rights to the children? That maybe true that the fathers should have equal rights as the mother however, when it puts the child or children into a position where there is the constant abuse by one parent then there is a problem that continues to go unresolved.

The courts are teaching the children that it is morally and ethically correct to be an abusive person and involve children during their divorces. Wrong! The courts should be stepping in and putting an end to the values that are now being taught to the children. However, everyday I see as well as read about how the courts are morally incorrect with what they are choosing to do with such situations!

Instead of allowing this to continue, the morals and ethics we are teaching our children today should in fact be one where each party to such custody issues should be showing the children that even though the parents do not love one another any longer we should show the children that we as parents can resolve issues between us.

Instead, we are just proving to the children that it is okay to bicker, argue and become abusive towards each other and teach the same morals to the children so that they to can pass these same morals down to their children and so on.

Is it ethical for the courts to not step in and put a stop to such behaviors? I do not believe that it is ethical for the courts to allow these issues to go unresolved in such a manner, however, seems to be that the courts are following what is in our constitution where a parent can raise their children as they see fit!

Are you kidding me? The courts are doing nothing to make a change with such a common practice of laws where the constitution is being applied! Someone needs to put it into legislation and have it passed that the courts should in fact involve their selves into being able to stop the parents from these harsh teachings to the children!

“Back late in the 1800’s, the concept of parens patriae was supported by the courts which is a moral duty that protects each citizen that is not able to protect themselves back then it was considered legal duty. Unless a child has his or her own attorney or guardian ad litem, protection can come only from the court. The court, however, may be too distracted by other issues to see that every child's interests are protected. Furthermore, judges vary in their sensitivity to the needs of a child in litigation and in understanding and appreciation of psychiatry.” (The Best Interest of the Child A child's right to have stable relationships must be central to custody decisions. By Eleanor Willemsen and Michael Willemson retrieved September 24, 2008)